Do you ever wonder where you would be in life if you had never gotten UC? I've never really thought about it before... The weird thing is I was a different person before I got this disease, a different person 4-5 yrs into the disease, and a different person now. Not some drastic mutiple personality type of person.
Before I was on my way to bioch city. Everything I wanted was lining up beautifully, and I was getting an attitude to go with it. So in a way, I can be thankful to the UC for that. Thankful...ha! Then I came out of remission, and got mean. I was pissed! The depression came on. It just wasn't fair. I don't know exactly when it happened but I decided that I was over being mad, and tried very hard to find something to get out of this. I still definetly have those days where i'm mad, and wishing someone else could take a turn. Strangely enough this disease has made me more patient, understanding, and compassionate.
So where would I be w/out it...
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oh I always get mad and pissed off too...but I did that as well before I got sick. The funny thing is that in the last few weeks I think I've changed again..I'm seriously trying to control my temper, but at the same time I don't want it building up in me...I'm one of those people that can hang onto grievances for years..and seriously I mean years. In the last few weeks though I've come to the conclusion that I have to let all that stuff go..no idea how yet, but I'm trailing a few things...
ReplyDeleteI was reading a really angry UC blog last week and it just hit me, that I didn't want to be like that girl..she was so mad with life and her meds, the sad thing was that she was being so honest about it all, but she definately in a bad place and can't seem to get out of it.
I just decided that for me...enough was enough a few weeks ago..so we'll see where I end up at say Christmas...
Sometimes I think I would be a better person if I didn't have UC. More outgoing, more confident, etc. But, like you, I think it has made me more compassionate too. I also think I have more gratitude and just passion for life in general now. So, yes, UC has made me a different person but I don't think I turned out that bad. There are blessings in everything.
ReplyDeleteI was working on my masters degree in International Relations and Russian. Unfortunately, ulcerative colitis precluded me from joining the military, a necessary step for security clearance and work in the intelligence field. So, you could say that UC threw a giant wrench into my career plans.
ReplyDeleteAny advice on how we as friends or partners of those with UC can help through the "angry times"?? (Especially when we are sometimes the victims of the angry times.)
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