Thursday, October 22, 2009


I'm back from the eye dr. She does think that my eye problems recently have been from the UC. She also referred me to this web-site -

Anybody ever hear of this, or try something like it? I sent my email to the dr. explaining my situation, we'll see what his ideas for me are.

Monday, October 19, 2009

It burns, it burns!

Have any of my fellow UCer's had eye problems w/this disease? For the last month my outer lids have been red, so I assumed allergies. I'm allergic to sage-brush and live in the middle of it. So naturally that was my first thought. I would just take Claritin, and put cream on my eyes everyday. This last week it got worse! We are talking, I can't see worse. Saturday night I was in SO much pain, we called an after hours eye clinic. Luckily the dr. had me meet her at her office that night. I have never had my eyes burn as bad as they were. I couldn't even open my eyes. Just writing this they are starting to burn! haha All I could see were lights.

She put the little letters on the wall, and even the astronomically large ones I couldn't see. The skin around my eyes was breaking up and bleeding even. She said that she thinks that it's auto-immune. That as bad as my eyes are, she can only imagine what my colon looks like. So I got a prescription for tobradex, $75 for a tsp....ouch. It has helped!!! Took a few doses, but I can finally stand up, and see things. I honestly was scared I might lose vision. So, have you heard of anything like this, or suffered w/it yourself? Has anyone tried acupuncture?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Baby Talk

Ali asked about my pregnancy, so here it goes. It actually was really uneventful. I remember my first visit w/the dr. was not very encouraging though. Two docs talked to me about being in an active flare and pregnant doesn't have very good odds of a full-term baby. So for about the first month or two I cried a lot. I felt like it was just a matter of time before I miscarried again. Through the entire pregnancy I didn't let myself get excited, or think about the future w/a baby. I've always felt like if I get excited about something I inevitably get let down.

So, at about 18 weeks when you find out the sex of the baby, they did all the measurements. Everything was normal, and on schedule! After that I had ultra-sounds every month to delivery. Every month they measured everything and it was always good news.

Now for the funny part. I have to drive 5 hrs for my Remicade infusions. That means Imodium. We were on our way home, and the entire ride was SO uncomfortable for me. I was thinking maybe it's pre-term labor or something. Just absolutely uncomfortable in every way. We got home, and I was off to bed. By morning I couldn't move w/out crying. I had a horrrible pain in my lower right side. I thought well if it's terrible enough it may be my appendix. It went all day, and as long as I didn't move I was fine. So that took appendix out of the ruling. Any ideas yet? By night time, I was in tears. Off we go to Labor and Delivery. The nurse asks if i've gone to the bathroom today. I say yes, but that doesn't mean anything because I usually go 10 times a day and it's only been once. I'm not dilated, nothing. We head home, and I LOAD up on fiber, grapes anything I can get my hands on to give me shits. Who would have thought that someone in my circumstance would be constipated that bad!!!

Three days later I went into labor 3 weeks early. Needless to say I pushed for 4 hours straight and didn't get anywhere. I had a horrible fever. The doc came in and checked me, he said "wow, your vagina is really hot".... So I say, "why....thank you..."

Had a c-section, everything went well. They had to start an IV on little man because of my fever, had spread to himm and he needed some anti-biotics. Sad part is the IV was in his head. They'd tried everywhere else, and he was bruised all over.

The last 3 months were heaven! I was going to the bathroom like a person w/out UC. I'd go 1-2 times a day, and it wasn't liquid. BONUS! Didn't take long for me to go back to the old ways though. BOO

That's the pregnancy. Thankfully nothing eventful.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Yes please!

I'm getting my long awaited Remicade infusion tomorrow! Who knew that having an IV in your arm for 3 hours could be something to look forward to.

The Remicade has gradually gotten less effective over time though. I'm completely horrified of surgery, but know that is my next step early next year. I worked in the assisting in the operating room for 4 years. The more I know, the worse off I am. When I had my c-section in April, I knew what was in the O.R. and on the back table, I just didn't want to see it. Every instrument they called for every noise they made freaked me out! I honestly am just better being left in the dark on certain things.

So, tomorrow at 10 am sharp I will be there w/my book in hand ready for the juice. Fill 'er up!

Monday, September 28, 2009


I was lurking on the j-pouch community site the other night, and a topic caught my eye. Once we get the colon removed are we cured? I've always thought yes. We are cured of UC, but not of our genetic tendancy to welcome auto-immune diseases. So it's safe to say we are cured yes? A guy said "no." He went on to say that they remove the organ that is being affected by UC. Well isn't UC affecting the colon, not your hand? Something about since they can't tell you what causes it, there's no cure. Well, we can't really pin-point what causes a lot of diseases... Basically a colectomy is the current treatment not cure.

I'm so confused by his statements. I feel like I just walked in a big circle. Where else would UC be a problem once the colon is out of the picture? Yes, the rectum but most of the time that is removed also. I plan on keeping my rectum, so I guess i'll always have UC, and never be cured...


Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Do you ever wonder where you would be in life if you had never gotten UC? I've never really thought about it before... The weird thing is I was a different person before I got this disease, a different person 4-5 yrs into the disease, and a different person now. Not some drastic mutiple personality type of person.

Before I was on my way to bioch city. Everything I wanted was lining up beautifully, and I was getting an attitude to go with it. So in a way, I can be thankful to the UC for that. Thankful...ha! Then I came out of remission, and got mean. I was pissed! The depression came on. It just wasn't fair. I don't know exactly when it happened but I decided that I was over being mad, and tried very hard to find something to get out of this. I still definetly have those days where i'm mad, and wishing someone else could take a turn. Strangely enough this disease has made me more patient, understanding, and compassionate.

So where would I be w/out it...

I need a fix

My Remicade infusion is just over a week away, and I want to die!! I started Remicade April of '08. It's the last ditch effort. Right after my colonoscopy was over, the dr. had the nurse start my first Remicade infusion. He said "you are so sick, I can't send you home w/out starting now." It has helped to the point of I wouldn't NOT get it. As far as being my saving I was scheduled for a total colectomy last July when we found out I was going to deliver something other than a colon. So now that my sweet little baby is here, it's looking like early part of next year to deliver Lucifer. That's what I call "the colon"

I get the highest dose, as often as they'll let me. They've even tipped over the highest dose to give me 11 vials every 6 weeks. It takes a good week to kick in, and is gone at least a week before. I still RUN to the bathroom constantly, and don't dare go anywhere because of the urge. On a positive note i've gone from blood, mucus, 15-20 times a day to 8-10 not much blood, and no mucus. When the Remicade is actively working in those 4 weeks.

Ya know, I think I could live with going to the bathroom all the time, but the urgency is too much. Nothing sucks worse than getting up at 3 am to make a screaming baby a bottle, and shitting yourself. Luckily my fan-freakin'tastic husband was there to take over.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


I've been reading UC blogs for about a year now. They always have something profound to say. Yet, I have nothing... I love that others can express their feelings about this disease though. It is a tremendous help to me. So thank you UC bloggers!